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Thread: What advice would you give the next owner of your body?

  1. #1

    What advice would you give the next owner of your body?

    (disclaimer: I nicked the idea from Reddit)
    "Okay, time's nearly up I'm afraid, time to start thinking about vacating that body of yours so we can rejuvenate it and stick another soul in there.
    Yeah, I know it's not fair, but don't blame me. I don't make the decisions about who gets 80 years and who gets 40, that's way above my pay grade. All I get to do is help prepare things for the next owner. So what I need you to do is give me the hints and tips they might need. We'll give the basic carbon based sentient bipedal lifeform manual, but only YOU know how that body you've been strutting around in for the last few decades actually works.
    Remember they'll have it from cradle to grave so hit me with the key stuff, the things that'll really make a difference.... Come on, I don't have all day. Got 20 more to do when I'm done with you."

    My answers:
    1) The connection between the brain and the muscles is unresponsive, takes a while to get used to, but you should be able to manage in time.
    2) The liver isn't all that good at processing alcohol quickly, so watch that when you're drinking.
    3) Lots of moles, get them checked regularly
    4) Grey hair presents in the beard early, so you may want to think about growing one.
    5) Really skinny wrists, so try not to get into watches as you'll just be opening yourself up to a world of disappointment.

    Apeks | Archimede | Breitling | Bulova | Cabot Watch Company | Casio | Daniel Wellington | Davosa | Glycine | G-Shock | Hamilton | Nomos | Omega | Rolex | Seiko | Slow | Swatch | Timex | Vostok

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  3. #2
    Moderator - Central tribe125's Avatar
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    Sold as seen.
    Runs then stops.
    Needs a battery.

  4. #3
    Running on high octane 99.9% of the time.
    Needs a day to recharge.
    Doesn't do well on drugs.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds @ night ONLY because rough men stand ready to do VIOLENCE
    on their behalf.....


    William

    Member#842

  5. #4
    Member timekeeper's Avatar
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    In need of a frame off restoration.
    Omega Speedmaster Ed White

    Omega PO Chrono 45
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    Deep Blue diver
    Zodiac oceanaire
    many Citizen and Seiko from the years.

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  7. #5
    Super Member Raza's Avatar
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    It's really only held together with Red Bull, cigarettes, arrogance, and moxie.

  8. #6
    Random guy vinylgreek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raza View Post
    moxie.
    This stuff must be pretty good
    MEUNImoxie_24ks.jpg
    Last edited by vinylgreek; Apr 14, 2015 at 03:52 AM.

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  10. #7
    Random guy vinylgreek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatmeworry View Post
    (disclaimer: I nicked the idea from Reddit)
    "Okay, time's nearly up I'm afraid, time to start thinking about vacating that body of yours so we can rejuvenate it and stick another soul in there.
    Yeah, I know it's not fair, but don't blame me. I don't make the decisions about who gets 80 years and who gets 40, that's way above my pay grade. All I get to do is help prepare things for the next owner. So what I need you to do is give me the hints and tips they might need. We'll give the basic carbon based sentient bipedal lifeform manual, but only YOU know how that body you've been strutting around in for the last few decades actually works.
    Remember they'll have it from cradle to grave so hit me with the key stuff, the things that'll really make a difference.... Come on, I don't have all day. Got 20 more to do when I'm done with you."

    My answers:
    1) The connection between the brain and the muscles is unresponsive, takes a while to get used to, but you should be able to manage in time.
    2) The liver isn't all that good at processing alcohol quickly, so watch that when you're drinking.
    3) Lots of moles, get them checked regularly
    4) Grey hair presents in the beard early, so you may want to think about growing one.
    5) Really skinny wrists, so try not to get into watches as you'll just be opening yourself up to a world of disappointment.

    You sure you want this one?

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  12. #8
    b& m8 CanadianStraps's Avatar
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    LNIB LQQK!!!11!11!1!one!!1
    It is now my duty to completely drain you.

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  14. #9
    bighead
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    Back is shit. Eyes have floaters, so you'll be swatting at nothing. Hair won't grow back. Good luck.

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  16. #10
    Another Member crownpuller's Avatar
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    Rare model - Serial No. 0001
    Splash-proof only - DO NOT submerse.
    Power reserve approx. 6 hours (between meals).
    Needs a service (interpret that any way you like !).
    Usual cosmetic wear marks, does not affect functionality.
    Some people have opinions - The rest of us have taste.

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