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Thread: Ugh

  1. #1
    Licorice eater Strange's Avatar
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    Ugh

    Ever done anything colossally stupid and been fully aware of how stupid it is while you're doing it but can't stop yourself? Well, I sure have. This afternoon I decided to adjust the size of the strap on my Kleine Schauer, which uses a deployant buckle. On the adjustable side the buckle has this little hoohah that fits over the strap, and that has a threaded post that goes in the hole you want. On the other side there is the smallest screw in the history of the universe that goes into the threaded end of the post.

    Now, had my brain been functioning in some rational manner I would have undone that microscopic little screw over a magnetized receptacle of some sort to catch the picoscrew when (not if) it slipped out of my hand and fell to who the hell knows where. But since I was in full bozo mode I did it over a pile of miscellany that has accreted over time and is now a proper mess. It then took me a half hour with a magnet and flashlight to finally find that miserable little speck of metal.

    Having found the screw mere seconds before I totally lost my shit I then had to screw it into that little post that fits through the strap. Sounds simple, right? Well, to properly appreciate the truly demonic nature of this operation you first have to understand that the screw in question is actually too small to be held and manipulated by human hands. After having dropped it (now into a magnetized tray) perhaps a dozen times as I attempted to fit it into the post my brain finally engaged and I got the bright idea to hold & manipulate the screw with a pair of fine tweezers. Even with that though it was the tortures of the damned getting the screw into the post and engaged with the threads so it wouldn't fall out as I tightened it. Tightening it was of course another aggravation since the driver slot was not very deep and the damn driver kept slipping out of it. This was not helped in any way by the fact that the buckle and strap kept getting in the way of the driver and making it well nigh impossible to maintain visual contact with the screw head as I attempted to locate the slot by feel with the driver.

    After what seemed like an eternity I finally managed to get the screw in and tightened down. It felt as if I had just done battle with all three gorgons tag-teaming me. By rights I should have indulged myself in some quantity of hard liquor as a reward for triumphing over the demon screw, but I was so frazzled that all I could do was stumble out of the house and stagger down to the local espresso joint for a latte.
    She said I was the apple of her eye so I told her she was the rutabaga of my duodenum.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    little hoohah
    I learned a chunk of specialised watchmaking terminology today!

    Good job on the gargantuan task!
    I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic f***ing hatreds. GC

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    Licorice eater Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rodia77 View Post
    I learned a chunk of specialised watchmaking terminology today!

    I’m kind of a stickler for the technological details. Whenever someone refers to a wrist-bound horological device as a ‘watch’ I’m compelled to scream in their ear “That’s a hoozie whatsis you ignorant baboon!”
    She said I was the apple of her eye so I told her she was the rutabaga of my duodenum.

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  6. #4
    Moderator G-Shock/Digital Sedi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Ever done anything colossally stupid and been fully aware of how stupid it is while you're doing it but can't stop yourself?
    Yep, sounds like me.
    I almost impaled my hand one time while trying to get a screwbar off a Casio Protrek. Because you need two screwdrivers as the damn thing turns when the other side isn't fixed somehow. So I used two, pushed down hard (because the screw is fixed with loctite) from both sides and slipped. Luckily missed my hand by mere inches.
    Cheers, Sedi

  7. #5
    Moderator - Central tribe125's Avatar
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    You graphically describe one or two of my own adventures with tiny screws - some of which only want to be upside down. Invariably, after the hypertensive episode has subsided, I realise that I prefer the watch on a strap.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    ..., but I was so frazzled that all I could do was stumble out of the house and stagger down to the local espresso joint for a latte.
    I hope you wore the watch when you went out!
    .
    .
    .

    Retired from Fire/Rescue on 1/05/2019 with 30 years on the job

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    Porous Membrane skywatch's Avatar
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    Thank you for the comic relief. I empathize that it happened at your expense, but I appreciate the effort for you to describe it so perfectly. Yes, I have been every bit the spazz when it comes to such adventures. I was happy to see that one of the chapters in your drama didn't involve dropping the Schauer from table height onto a tile floor.
    Too many watches, not enough wrists.

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  13. #8
    Licorice eater Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuckmiller View Post
    I hope you wore the watch when you went out!
    I did, in fact. There wasn’t a way in hell I was going to let such tribulations go to waste.
    She said I was the apple of her eye so I told her she was the rutabaga of my duodenum.

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  15. #9
    Licorice eater Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skywatch View Post
    Thank you for the comic relief. I empathize that it happened at your expense, but I appreciate the effort for you to describe it so perfectly. Yes, I have been every bit the spazz when it comes to such adventures. I was happy to see that one of the chapters in your drama didn't involve dropping the Schauer from table height onto a tile floor.
    There’s a certain perverse satisfaction in recounting such tales of woe. It almost feels like an exorcism of sorts, as if by ridiculing the experience one diminishes it’s hideosity.

    I have in fact dropped a watch from table height onto a tiled floor, but it wasn’t the Schauer. It was one of my Sinn U1s, and the only damage was that it knocked one of the hands off the spindle. Damn near gave me an infarction though.
    She said I was the apple of her eye so I told her she was the rutabaga of my duodenum.

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  17. #10
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    Sounds like the screws on a GS bracelet��!

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