The non-fungibility of pets

[Strange]

About a year ago I lost my beloved Mek Mek. She was a cat of the highest order, with a wonderfully idiosyncratic personality. I got her as a rescue; the shelter said she was 4yrs old, and was obviously house trained and used to living with two-leggers. After ten wonderful years she developed a squamous cell carcinoma that was unresectible and for which there was no chemo. For her last couple of weeks she wasn't able to eat and was barely able to drink. Although she didn't appear to be in pain or distress it was the tortures of the damned watching her ebb away. In one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make I had her euthanized. Much as that hurt I really couldn't stand seeing her in such a diminished state.

The minute she was gone various friends asked if I was going to get another cat to replace her. Although they meant well I was put off by the notion that you could simply replace one pet for another, as if they were fungible goods like washing machines or cell phones. A very large part of having a pet is enjoying their individuality. They all have distinct personalities that cannot be 'replaced' by any other pet, no matter how wonderful. It gobsmacked me that the people I talked with about it didn't seem to understand that, particularly those who were pet owners themselves. I understand the idea that simply having a pet, any pet, is better than no pet. And at some point I suspect that I will in fact acquire another cat or cats. But it won't be to 'replace' Mek Mek, since that's simply not possible.

The girl herself...

[G07]

Well said!

[Kronos]

I'm sorry for your loss and I could not agree more.

Unfortunately, as in many other areas of life and love, loss is part of the deal with pet ownership. Knowing this, however, didn't make the loss of my two previous dogs (Delia and Winnie) any less devastating. And Augie, our current canine resident didn't "replace" anyone. He's entirely his own man, err dog, with his own unique personality.

Re-reading my reference to "pet ownership", I paused for a second to consider the allocation of resources and the division of labor between humans and house pets. Viewed from that perspective, it is far clear who "owns" whom.


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[Strange]

Unfortunately, as in many other areas of life and love, loss is part of the deal with pet ownership.

All pets should come with a warning that says By owning this pet you acknowledge that at some future date said pet will die, ripping your heart out of your chest and leaving you emotionally traumatized. This is not a defect; it is merely the reality of allowing a pet into your life. And the more you love the pet the worse your anguish will be at their loss. All responsibility for this trauma is yours and yours alone. Enjoy your pet!

[skywatch]

True 'nuff. We have not "replaced" our cats who died of old age in 2004 and 2007. Especially the younger one - a nerdy klutz, very smart but not good at cat things; yet a savant with emotion and connection with humans. We sometimes called her "doggie-cat" because she connected at that level. I feel your loss.

[gnuyork]

When we lost Oreo, a 4lb black Chihuahua and Greta, a 75lb black lab, (lost here even earlier, but we had them at the same time), it took years before we found Lola, who was a street rescue in a shelter. She definitely has her own wild personality. You can tell she was used to scrapping on the streets. Craziest dog we've ever had, which is not many... Just Greta and Oreo before.

But I totally understand the not wanting to rush out and get another pet you just loss. It's inconceivable, yet the same was asked of us right away, are we going to get another dog?... Nope. In fact, I wasn't even ready for Lola, but my wife just showed up with her one evening.

Lola has been with us everywhere (except for our trip to France and Ireland)... but since the baby has been born, she has taken a bit of a back seat, unfortunately. But I still try to give her attention, but I have zero time anymore. She's been a good sport about it though.

[Strange]

gnuyork those are fabulous pix. Real cutey of a pooch. Be happy for your time with her.

[hayday]

Pets are never replaced. We simply add more to the family.

[chuckmiller]

Condolences. Losing a pet is excruciating.